this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
