my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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