She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Houston, we have a squirter
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
