If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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