hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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