And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
