We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
