You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
