I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
