why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
