im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize