I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
