This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
