Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
