its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
