no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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