i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize