doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
