holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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