i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's shark week go big or go home
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
