Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
