There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
