I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize