You just made me feel so damn special
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize