She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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