highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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