i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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