Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
