420 ftw
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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