it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
