Are we in a gay sports bar?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
