JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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