Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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