I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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