you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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