Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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