he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
