I have demons in me.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
