Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
This is the high leading the old right now
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
