Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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