My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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