We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
