I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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