She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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