a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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