It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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