why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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