Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize