We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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