What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
