First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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