A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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