There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
