I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize