Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
This show inspires me to have sex in space
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
