I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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